Judith Anne Wheeler April 16 1948 Dec 10 2017
Florie Matthews did the first reading
One of the toughest jobs was delivering the eulogy for
Judy. I feel the words were right but it was very hard getting through
our lives together in such a context.
Florie had put the words to a song when my sister Pearl
Florence Elliott died Jan 7 2016. There are four short verses and a
chorus but it has such great meaning. So I invited Grandchildren to
sing it with me, Andrew was the loudest.
was very much a part of the church and we went to two over our life
time together. The Priests in this photo all had close contact with
both of us and they were shocked to hear of her sudden passing.
From left to right they are Fr. Charles, Fr. Greg, Fr.
Mike and Fr. Larry. The other two gentlemen were acting as alter
This page marks the end of life as we know it. I will now have
to try and remake my life on my own with the help of all who care about
and for me.
If you search around on this site you will know how in touch with each
other Judy and I were. I referred to us as part of the Social Exchange
theory. To me it represents how you come into the life of someone and
you just click so well together. They have all that is needed to
complete you and you have what they depend on for completion. That is
the way it was for Judy and I.
Judy could do so much on her own, but she could not drive and
due to her lack of good eye site needed some help getting around. I
could get around, drive and work the power tools . But I seldom have
vision needed to do all the renovation work that we pulled off
together. My life will never be the same with out her here, but then
again it shouldn't be or my whole idea is wrong.
Judy had a very hard 2017 and there were lots of ups and
downs. Ups were our new kitchen that she loved and almost
finished, and teaching two of our Grandchildren to do cursive writing
math. Downs were her cataracts that made her vision so much worse for
most of the year and then her diagnosis of breast cancer. The diagnosis
of Breast cancer did not stop her from doing the great research she had
to do about it. Her 12 poems are a fantastic guide to how Spiritually
directed Judy was.
Eulogy for Judy
Judith Anne Wheeler
(Asmar)Judy was born on
April 16 1948. Her parents were George and Bea Asmar. When Judy was
they found out she had no central vision. A little later it was noticed
Judy had trouble swallowing her food. Judy had Esophageal Achalasia in
her throat mussels didn’t work properly.
Judy was in
grade 2 she had to get to Victoria school for sight saving class. They
the south end of Chilver Rd. That meant a walk with George or Mom to
down to the city bus and ride down town by herself. One time she ended
the wrong bus coming home and went out to the county. A little girl
poor sight! After Victoria school Judy went to two different High
finishing at Walkerville School where in grade 10 they said if you
or hear we cannot help you. So there Judy was all done school at grade
On a Sunday
in Jan 1970 Judy was ice skating at Windsor arena and saw a young man
wanted to meet. Her brother had told her stories about this strange guy
just wanted to check him out. So as she skated by one time she took a
and gave him a shove and commented “Don’t say hi Stuck up”. Well as
the world changed direction for her from that moment. It is what we
call a “God Wink Moment”. He picked himself up, checked for broken
took a long hard look at the young lady skating away.
Judy found work at
factory on Walker Rd Dall Specialties making seat belts. Judy then
tried to go
to the school of nursing. Judy would have done very well if she could
the signs on the walls over the beds to know she had the right person
medication. Judy worked hard and finished most of the course but could
graduate. With help from a kind friend Judy found a job at IODE
Prince Rd. Judy was a ward clerk. This is a person who would add
charts for the patients. Judy enjoyed the job but it was tough some
her vision problems. Unknown to Judy in Jan 1970 her life was about to
very drastic change.
He was smitten as
was she and they had their first date on Feb 14 1970. Judy and Ted were
inseparable from then until Dec 10 2017 when she died after a battle
breast cancer and blood clots. Between those two dates God Winked a
lot, like a
whole lot. They married May 22 1971 at Most Precious Blood Church and
daughter in June 73 and another one in Nov 75. Finding out she was
their first child in Sept 1973 Judy quit her job and stayed home to
daughters and her husband.
In 1980 they
to start going to Holy Name Church in Essex and God winked again in
sent a priest by the name of Fr. Sam Johnston to oversee the church and
it all around. While they were already true believers in Jesus and how
to give us eternal life. The upcoming Charismatic direction the church
going would lead to more open evangelization and outreach for Judy and
Always burning just below the surface was a yearning to help and lift
who needed their lifting.
In about 1989 Judy
found out about a Government program called Vocational Rehab service.
would do testing and if a person met the proper criteria they wold get
educational funding. Judy decided to give it a try and took a semester
Clair College. Having success there Judy applied and went to the
Windsor. With very hard work focusing solely on her studies Judy pulled
BSW. Judy won the Presidents Medal, the board of Governors Award and a
Judy moved to 35
Charles St. Toronto on Aug 14 1998. Judy wrote a syllabus for her own
I remember her saying she was in a class of her own. Judy asked before
to Toronto can we really do this to which I said we have been married
what is 20 months. Well again Judy
worked very hard and finished her Masters of Social Work in April 2000.
After all of that
Judy started her own business, In-Touch Consulting for retirement life
planning. Judy became a teacher helping students from U of W and then
researcher for Kingsville Leamington Social planning group. Judy was
working very hard designing and directed the renovation of The House on
Cameron. It is a very old very stately home in Essex ON. In March 2012
final nail put into the work in Essex they moved to a 3 bedroom ranch
Windsor. There really was no work that Judy could not do. Having a guy
help with the heavy lifting just made it easy.
As I look now at
where we were three weeks ago with all the plans Judy had for sewing
Christmas coming, sorting out an office full of books and papers. We
working hard with the RCIA group at our church. Judy always on the
planning, researching checking out information for those she was
hard to help. Then suddenly Judy is gone and there is a very large hole
world. I looked around her office on Mon. and thought of all the plans
that will never get done now.
Prayers have come
from all over the world for her from family and friends who know her
one way or
another. We all agree the world is a little darker and less alive now
was. Those who know Judy and I know us as a team and I think how do I
on my own now without her wonderful smile, gentle touch, warm hugs and
other parts that made this world spin just right.
With all the
problems she started with Judy reached down very deep and overcame it
the help of very caring professionals who helped her see. With the 6
glasses she held onto. The good understanding of her eating situation.
computers and internet where she worked so hard to find just the right
to any problem that came her way
On Sat. evening at
the hospital she wanted to talk and the nurse took off the breathing
she said to him and I “I have to say goodbye”. And that was the end of
Wheeler. They gave her comfort care and she drifted off to be with God,
those gone before. Now all we, who are left have to do is keep trying to
the very large gap left by her passing. I loved her the best I could
with time we will move on it just won’t be as much fun as it has been.