The End

Judith Anne Wheeler April 16 1948 Dec 10 2017

Florie at Judy's funeral Mass

Florie Matthews did the first reading

Ted delivers the Eulogy at Judy's Funeral

One of the toughest jobs was delivering the eulogy for Judy. I feel the words were right but it was very hard getting through our lives together in such a context.

We sing If You Believe

Florie had put the words to a song when my sister Pearl Florence Elliott died Jan 7 2016. There are four short verses and a chorus but it has such great meaning. So I invited Grandchildren to sing it with me, Andrew was the loudest.

The Priests at Judy's Funeral Mass

Judy was very much a part of the church and we went to two over our life time together. The Priests in this photo all had close contact with both of us and they were shocked to hear of her sudden passing.

From left to right they are Fr. Charles, Fr. Greg, Fr. Mike and Fr. Larry. The other two gentlemen were  acting as alter servers.

This page marks the end of life as we know it. I will now have to try and remake my life on my own with the help of all who care about and for me. If you search around on this site you will know how in touch with each other Judy and I were. I referred to us as part of the Social Exchange theory. To me it represents how you come into the life of someone and you just click so well together. They have all that is needed to complete you and you have what they depend on for completion. That is the way it was for Judy and I.

Judy could do so much on her own, but she could not drive and due to her lack of good eye site needed some help getting around. I could get around, drive and work the power tools . But I seldom have the vision needed to do all the renovation work that we pulled off together. My life will never be the same with out her here, but then again it shouldn't be or my whole idea is wrong.

Judy had a very hard 2017 and there were lots of ups and downs.  Ups were our new kitchen that she loved and almost finished, and teaching two of our Grandchildren to do cursive writing and math. Downs were her cataracts that made her vision so much worse for most of the year and then her diagnosis of breast cancer. The diagnosis of Breast cancer did not stop her from doing the great research she had to do about it. Her 12 poems are a fantastic guide to how Spiritually directed Judy was.

Eulogy for Judy

Judith Anne Wheeler (Asmar)Judy was born on April 16 1948. Her parents were George and Bea Asmar. When Judy was very young they found out she had no central vision. A little later it was noticed that Judy had trouble swallowing her food. Judy had Esophageal Achalasia in which her throat mussels didn’t work properly.

            When Judy was in grade 2 she had to get to Victoria school for sight saving class. They lived at the south end of Chilver Rd. That meant a walk with George or Mom to help her down to the city bus and ride down town by herself. One time she ended up on the wrong bus coming home and went out to the county. A little girl with very poor sight! After Victoria school Judy went to two different High Schools finishing at Walkerville School where in grade 10 they said if you cannot see or hear we cannot help you. So there Judy was all done school at grade 10.

 Judy found work at a factory on Walker Rd Dall Specialties making seat belts. Judy then tried to go to the school of nursing. Judy would have done very well if she could only see the signs on the walls over the beds to know she had the right person getting medication. Judy worked hard and finished most of the course but could not graduate. With help from a kind friend Judy found a job at IODE Hospital on Prince Rd. Judy was a ward clerk. This is a person who would add information to charts for the patients. Judy enjoyed the job but it was tough some days with her vision problems. Unknown to Judy in Jan 1970 her life was about to make a very drastic change.

              On a Sunday evening in Jan 1970 Judy was ice skating at Windsor arena and saw a young man she wanted to meet. Her brother had told her stories about this strange guy and she just wanted to check him out. So as she skated by one time she took a chance and gave him a shove and commented “Don’t say hi Stuck up”. Well as they say the world changed direction for her from that moment. It is what we came to call a “God Wink Moment”. He picked himself up, checked for broken bones and took a long hard look at the young lady skating away.

 He was smitten as was she and they had their first date on Feb 14 1970. Judy and Ted were inseparable from then until Dec 10 2017 when she died after a battle with breast cancer and blood clots. Between those two dates God Winked a lot, like a whole lot. They married May 22 1971 at Most Precious Blood Church and had a daughter in June 73 and another one in Nov 75. Finding out she was expecting their first child in Sept 1973 Judy quit her job and stayed home to raise her daughters and her husband.

 In 1980 they decided to start going to Holy Name Church in Essex and God winked again in that He sent a priest by the name of Fr. Sam Johnston to oversee the church and turned it all around. While they were already true believers in Jesus and how He died to give us eternal life. The upcoming Charismatic direction the church was going would lead to more open evangelization and outreach for Judy and Ted. Always burning just below the surface was a yearning to help and lift up those who needed their lifting.

In about 1989 Judy found out about a Government program called Vocational Rehab service. They would do testing and if a person met the proper criteria they wold get educational funding. Judy decided to give it a try and took a semester at St. Clair College. Having success there Judy applied and went to the University Of Windsor. With very hard work focusing solely on her studies Judy pulled off her BSW. Judy won the Presidents Medal, the board of Governors Award and a 12,000 dollar scholarship.

 Judy moved to 35 Charles St. Toronto on Aug 14 1998. Judy wrote a syllabus for her own program. I remember her saying she was in a class of her own. Judy asked before she went to Toronto can we really do this to which I said we have been married 27 years what is  20 months. Well again Judy worked very hard and finished her Masters of Social Work in April 2000.

 After all of that Judy started her own business, In-Touch Consulting for retirement life style planning. Judy became a teacher helping students from U of W and then became a researcher for Kingsville Leamington Social planning group. Judy was always working very hard designing and directed the renovation of The House on Cameron. It is a very old very stately home in Essex ON. In March 2012 with the final nail put into the work in Essex they moved to a 3 bedroom ranch in Windsor. There really was no work that Judy could not do. Having a guy there to help with the heavy lifting just made it easy.

 As I look now at where we were three weeks ago with all the plans Judy had for sewing with Christmas coming, sorting out an office full of books and papers. We were working hard with the RCIA group at our church. Judy always on the computer planning, researching checking out information for those she was working very hard to help. Then suddenly Judy is gone and there is a very large hole in our world. I looked around her office on Mon. and thought of all the plans she had that will never get done now.  

 Prayers have come in from all over the world for her from family and friends who know her one way or another. We all agree the world is a little darker and less alive now then it was. Those who know Judy and I know us as a team and I think how do I do this on my own now without her wonderful smile, gentle touch, warm hugs and all the other parts that made this world spin just right.

 With all the problems she started with Judy reached down very deep and overcame it all with the help of very caring professionals who helped her see. With the 6 pairs of glasses she held onto. The good understanding of her eating situation. With the computers and internet where she worked so hard to find just the right answer to any problem that came her way

 On Sat. evening at the hospital she wanted to talk and the nurse took off the breathing mask and she said to him and I “I have to say goodbye”. And that was the end of Judy Wheeler. They gave her comfort care and she drifted off to be with God, and those gone before. Now all we, who are left have to do is keep trying to fill in the very large gap left by her passing. I loved her the best I could and now with time we will move on it just won’t be as much fun as it has been.